Cant Raise A Man
by Unique Reed
Summary: Unique is a young, sexy, and powerful female with her eyes on the prize. She thought her world was perfect after a great promotion at work, until she realizes the man she lives doesnt love her the same. The ups and downs that follow lead Unique to a dark place. Can she pick up the pieces and get back to herself? Or will she cause her own demise trying to raise a man?


"Can't raise a man.. he's already grown what you gon' do. You wonder why he he acts like a boy.. it's cuz he wasn't raised right before you. Girl you ain't never gon change no body.. if he don't want to you can't make no body change. You can't raise a man, noooooo", K Michelle's words resonated through the sub woofer speakers in the back of Unique's Chrysler 300 while she sped down I91.

Unique had listened to this song a million times before, but at this moment, she finally knew what K. Michelle was talking about. Tears cascaded down Unique's caramel cheeks and landed in her lap. They were coming faster than she could wipe them, and the cause of all the pain was also the reason she smiled each day. Her so called man, more like her boyfriend, had taken her heart and ripped it apart.

About an hour earlier, Unique got off of work in a jolly mood. She was the center director at one of the most successful daycares in the greater Hartford area. She had an amazing day with her kids, and because of a field trip, she was off early. She decided to stop by the block to bring her man some take out since she knew he wouldn't be home until well into the next morning and she didn't plan on cooking tonight.

Semaj played the block day in and day out. Unique didn't agree with his way of making it, but being from the hood, she understood that his options were limited, or at least that's what they were trained to believe. He helped out financially at the house so she didn't really have room to complain. He would come in the house around about 4 each morning and sleep in until about noon to do it all again. This day was no different in Unique's eyes.

After grabbing some fried whiting, baked Mac n cheese, collard greens and cornbread from Lily's Soul Food Restaurant, Unique headed to Wethersfield Ave, where Semaj and his boys would be. She pulled into a parking lot on the side street and hopped out, leaving her car running. She intended on bringing him the food and leaving. She didn't care for the environment and damn sure didn't care for his so called friends.

She spotted Semaj sitting on the porch of one of the row houses with his back facing her. She thought about calling him over to her so she wouldn't have to walk past all the block boys, but she knew that would be considered "hot" since they were all selling drugs and she didn't want to bring any attention to the area so she walked past the men, up to the house and began going up the steps.

One of Semaj's boys, Frank, saw Unique coming and jumped up rushing towards her. "Hey there Miss Unique, what you doing over this way" he said a little too loud and a little too enthusiastically. He tried pushing Unique back towards the stairs but she wasn't having it. She barely ever spoke to him so his behavior not only aggravated her, but it piqued her interest.

"Move Frank, what other reason would I be here?" She said looking towards her man. Semaj had stood up and was watching the altercation but hadn't moved or said a word. His face looked like he saw a ghost. After realizing he lost the battle, Frank moved to the side and went down the steps off of the porch and got on his phone.

Unique rolled her eyes and continued towards Semaj. She hadn't even realized there was someone sitting behind him until she got closer to him. It was as if he was hiding the person and it all was becoming clear to Unique what was going on, but she wasn't nearly prepared for what happened next.

"Neek, what you doing over here? You know I don't like you out here on the block." Semaj started. He hadn't moved an inch and Unique was trying to calm herself because she felt her body heating up and she didn't want to go to jail today.

"Since when did I need permission to roll up on my man? I was bringing you something to eat, but it looks like you straight", she said with an attitude trying to peek around him. He moved with her, stopping her from seeing what was behind him for that second, but it didn't matter.

"Your man?" A beautiful red boned Asian looking girl stood up from behind Semaj holding a baby that looked just like Semaj. She looked from Unique to Semaj and back to Unique for an answer. Semaj took a step forward and put his face in his hands. This was the very last thing he had prepared for.

"Yea, mine.. or so I thought?" Unique said with her hands on her hips looking from Semaj to the baby and then up to the girl, waiting for his sorry ass to chime in. After a few moments of silence and both women looking back and forth between Semaj and each other, he still hadn't said anything.

Unique wanted to yell at the top of her lungs, she wanted to scream, cry and even drag the hoe down a block or two, but Unique had grown out of that ratchet girl stage years ago and she wouldn't dare bring herself back to that point for a boy that couldn't even be a man. He was sitting there with his hands still covering his face as if that would help him disappear.

So instead of doing what every fiber of her body was calling her to do, she simply tossed the bag of food off of the porch upside down, startling Semaj and gracefully stepped down the steps with a sweet smile. She briskly walked off on the direction of her car. She expected to hear her name or hear Semaj behind her, but he didn't even come after her. She got in her car and sat there for about two minutes trying to calm down before she pulled off.

Unique turned the 25 minute ride to Windsor into 10 in her rage with K. Michelle egging her on with her lyrics about a no good man who won't ever do right. She pulled into the driveway of her mom's house erratically and killed the ignition before hopping out. She sped to the door like her ass was on fire, crying hysterically while she struggled with her keys. When she finally stopped shaking enough to stabilize her hands, she let herself into the house and closed the door behind her.

Unique went straight to the pantry in the kitchen and grabbed the box of garbage bags. She went to her room and began pulling expensive articles of clothing out of drawers and began tossing them in a pile on the floor. She grabbed Semaj's North Face coat out of the closet along with several Ralph Lauren sweaters and a few leather coats in different shades. She went back and grabbed his wheat Timbs, a few pair of Adidas and numerous pair of Jordan sneakers and also tossed them in the pile.

She had wanted to put it all in a bag and drop it on the step, but after seeing a lot of her stupidity and hard earned money go into that pile, she had another idea. Semaj was never a cheap guy, but also didn't make enough in his hustle to handle helping with bills AND getting fly so she had become his stylist in exchange for him paying his way. She bought majority of the clothes in the pile with her hard earned money and his ass was out flossing for the next bitch.

Unique lived with her mother, not by necessity but by choice. White kids didn't move out until they got married and they were able to save up. Unique wasn't in any rush to move out and have to pay a bunch of bills so she stayed in her childhood home and just helped her mom with those bills.

Unique and her mom, Mahalia, were very close and her mother didn't pry in her business so it was a win win for them all. But Mahalia wasn't a dummy, and she taught Unique not to be dumb either, so Unique had to make sure it seemed as if Semaj was providing for her or her mother would never allow him to live there. So she opted to buy his clothes in private so he could pay bills and keep her mom happy.

Unique never used to mind doing it either because she got cute on a regular and always liked shopping whether at the stores or online. Now she just picked up things here and there for Semaj to make sure he matched her fly. So looking at the thousands of dollars she spent on this shit thinking she had a good dude had her seeing red at this moment.

She ran to the garage and grabbed the metal tub they had bought to wash Bear, her 150 pound German Shepard that her mom had gotten her. She brought it to the backyard and ran back in the house. After grabbing everything she needed, she went upstairs and started throwing all Semaj's clothes out the window into the backyard. She was aiming at the tub, but shit was scattering in the wind.

She grabbed the rest of his colognes, scarves, and any pictures with him in it and came outside frustrated with her rash decision making because she had to go all across the yard to collect all the things since they scattered here and there.

After gathering everything and putting it all in the tub, she poured the remainder of the half full bottle of bleach on the fancy items and ignited it with a match. As soon as the fire started, she grabbed her phone, snapped a picture and sent it to Semaj then blocked him.

Back on the block, Semaj was feeling like shit. He was really in love with Unique and hadn't meant to hurt her, but Karina had his only child and he couldn't just walk away from them. He knew he had fucked up by messing with her, and even more so by not using protection the few times they had sex. When Karina told him she was pregnant last year, he almost had a heart attack, but when she had his son, he immediately fell in love with Semaj Jr. and he knew from that day he couldn't walk away.

Semaj knew that eventually this shit would catch up to him.. he knew how karma worked. What he didn't expect was to be blind sided like he was and unable to control the situation he caused. He wanted to talk to Unique, tell her how much he was sorry, but he knew she wasn't trying to hear it. Karina had always been easy going when it came to him, so even though he knew it wouldn't be easy, he knew she wouldn't leave him.

"You really a dog ass nigga.. how you driving around in my shit, living at my spot and you got the next bitch claiming you?!" Karina screamed at him. She had been going ham for the last hour, calling him all types of names and even swinging on him a few times. He had played both the women, so he couldn't blame her for being mad. But in his head, Karina was only the side bitch and the fact that he let his girl walk away without even going after her had his head fucked up. He had Unique thinking he was on the block when really he's been home in bed with Karina.

He knew Unique was pissed and he could only imagine what she was out doing at the moment, but he couldn't risk not seeing his seed by walking away to chase after her. Karina had made it clear on numerous occasions that if he tried playing her, she would move back to Miami and take their child with her. He hated that his choice was basically made for him but he didn't know what to do so he just sat there and listened to her go on.

To say that Karina was mad was an understatement. She had put her all into this man in the matter of months and she was just realizing she didn't know shit about him. She had come to Connecticut to visit her sick grandmother about a year and a half ago. Her grandmother was battling Multiple Sclerosis and needed someone to be with her other than her no good son who rather run the streets. Her grandmother lost her battle about two months after Karina came to stay with her.

Karina planned to clear the house of all its belongings before renting it out. Her grandmother had left Karina everything of value in her will. That didn't go too well with her youngest son. He was the only living child of hers so he felt that he was supposed to get something. Karina was going to stay in town for about a month to get everything together to rent the property.

When she met Semaj at happy hour one afternoon, she just knew he was the one for her. He was sexy as hell standing at 6'0, roughly 160 lbs of mostly muscle. His skin was light brown and he had light brown eyes. His freshly cut hair held the deepest set of waves and his mustache and goatee were well groomed also. When he opened his mouth to reveal a set of perfectly white teeth, she had made the decision that he was hers before he even said hi. She brought him back to her place that night and they had been together ever since.

She slipped up a few months later and forgot to take her pill, resulting in an unplanned pregnancy. Karina didn't believe in abortions and since she had no reason to believe things weren't progressing with Semaj, she prepared herself to start a family. Semaj seemed genuinely happy when she told him which made her excited about having a baby. She ended up keeping her grandmothers house and letting Semaj move in with her.

Other than the fact that he left early in the mornings to work the block, they never had any issues. He helped out as much as he could financially and he was an amazing father to their now 4-month-old son Semaj Jr. Karina wasn't stressing for money because her grandmother had left her a substantial amount of money that she was letting sit in her savings. She was living off of the interest and having no mortgage made things easy.

When she got her taxes back, Karina bought a 2012 Toyota Camry so that she could get around to her appointments and such. She decided to give that car to Semaj and just drove her grandmother's 1998 Celica, which was still in mint condition. So finding out that her man was also someone else's confused the shit out of Karina.

"I can't believe I uprooted my whole life for your sorry ass! I didn't move all the way to this cold ass state for this bullshit!" She cried hysterically. She was pouring her heart out and the fact that Semaj hadn't said two words since the mystery girl walked off had Karina feeling like she could kill something. She expected an explanation, an apology... something. But she got nothing. His phone beeped and when he looked at it, his face turned beet red and his eyes teared up, but none fell. Karina could tell whatever was sent to his phone had him mad as fuck and she assumed it was from the girl.

"So you not going to say anything?" Karina waved her hands in his face.

On the other side of town, Unique was sitting Indian style in the grass in her backyard smoking a joint and watching the fire blaze. She was still hurt, but her heart was numb at the moment. She filled her lungs with the potent weed and then exhaled releasing the smoke. She didn't know what had happened and that was the worst part, to her, everything in their relationship was fine.

She cooked almost every night, even though he was barely there to eat with her. She'd leave him a plate of food in the microwave so when he came in he'd have a warm home cooked meal. She kept their space and all of their clothes clean. She worked her behind off for years working her way up to center director in just two short years. She also did online classes to get her degree in business.

Unique was more beautiful than the average girl with her caramel colored complexion, big brown eyes that demanded attention and full pink lips. She was 5'4, 140lbs of thickness and she kept herself together, getting her hair and nails done every two weeks. She worked out three times a week to maintain her figure and even skipped fast food for healthy meals to ensure she not only looked good, but tasted good as well.

Unique never went to bed with hair anywhere on her body other than her head and she was damn talented in the bedroom. She didn't even wear a scarf to bed, opting to use a silk pillowcase to protect her long shoulder length locks. She wasn't naive in thinking that these things kept a man, but she couldn't figure out why he'd need to look elsewhere and what it was that he was looking for.

She thought about all the years leading up to this moment. She searched her mental for anything out of the ordinary, anything that she might have missed that told her she was being cheated on. She couldn't think of a damn thing other than his work hours. And even with that, he was surely bringing in enough to pay a few of the bills and keep food in the house for them two. How would he still be able to do that if he was using that time to cheat.

She was able to call him at any time and he would always answer for her. If he didn't, he would always call back within the minute. So she couldn't figure out when Semaj had time to not only cheat, but create another life. Every time Unique saw that little boy's face in her mind, she started crying again.

She had wanted to have a baby for a while now and Semaj just kept saying how it wasn't the right time, how he didn't want to be staying with her mother when they had a child and that he was working to get them in their own shit and then they could start thinking about babies. He had said all of that, and was really convincing too! She actually felt bad thinking about bringing a baby into the world in their situation. Now she knew he fed her all that bullshit because he just didn't want to have another child with her.

It broke her heart to know her man of five years would betray her that way. Had he been upfront and told her about the baby, she possibly would have forgiven him and eventually moved on helping him care for his child. She loved children and would never take her anger out on the baby. Even if she wasn't able to move past that, she would have preferred that much respect to at least give her the option to decide. That baby looked to be at least a few months which meant he had been dealing with the woman for at least a year! Unique didn't know why she deserved that.

The fact that she was left out of the loop and basically treated like she was the side chick messing up someone's family, that shit had her livid. She walked away with class but she was mad as fuck that she didn't stay to get more answers. She knew in her heart that she was done with Semaj, but she still wanted to know why he would do that to her.

After killing the roach piece, which she never did in effort to keep her lips brown, Unique rolled another fat piece and went inside to grab a bottled water for her cotton mouth. She opened the fridge and decided to grab the bottle of Alize instead and headed back to the patio. The fire was finally diminished and it was just ash and black smoke coming from the scorched tub.

Instead of going back to her spot in the grass, she laid in her mother's hammock and sparked her piece. The first pull she took was too much smoke and she ended up choking. She coughed hard and long, almost falling off the hammock in the process. When she was finally able to breath again, she took a look at herself hanging half way off the hammock and started laughing.

She stayed just like that and laughed for what felt like 30 minutes until her throat was burning. She opened the Alize and took a swig straight from the bottle. The drink cooled her throat down and she lightly continued laughing at herself. Unique looked up at the beautiful blue sky and for the first time in years, she felt free.

The next day Unique was at work in her office speaking with a parent when the door buzzed. The daycare was secured with a key code and only people with the code could enter. The only people who had a code were parents and staff. Unique looked up at the security monitor and saw a delivery man holding a bouquet of flowers so big, it was covering most of his face.

She didn't want to assume they were for her, but still she displayed a bright smile as she walked to open the door. When the delivery man walked in past her and sat the vase down, she was finally able to see that it was Semaj. Her smile dropped in an instant as she looked at the man who had torn her heart apart less than 24 hours ago. The gesture would have been a great one under different circumstances. She had fought herself about coming into work today, but decided to go to keep her mind off of him. And here he was reminding her all over again.

"Semaj, what are you doing at my workplace?" She asked in a serious tone.

"Well... had I come by the house, I know you probably would've tried to set me on fire with my Timbs or something so I decided to come to the place where your the happiest. I know you won't go crazy on me here." He smiled bashfully trying to throw a joke in there.

"Well clearly you don't know me as much as you think you do because for one, home with you is where I was the happiest. And I would most definitely go crazy on you in here... but I'm not." Unique said matter of factly before continuing.

"You see, I don't feel that your even worth this explanation I'm giving you. Let alone for me to risk losing my job or my freedom. I'm definitely not stupid enough to go for anything you have to say so why your here with flowers is beyond me." She said in a cold tone.

She didn't even wait for a response, she pushed him back out the door then turned and grabbed the vase of beautifully colored roses and gave them back to him. He tried not reaching for them, but when she dropped them in front of him, he had no choice but to catch them. She turned to walk away before they got in his hands.

Anyone with a code was strictly forbidden from sharing that code with anyone, so she wasn't worried about him coming in. She went back into her office and apologized to the parent before continuing their conversation.

Unique felt good telling him how she felt. She still had unanswered questions and chances are she always would, but she wasn't going to waste another day or tear on Semaj. He clearly wasn't the man she thought she knew all these years. The man that she knew would always keep it real with her, no matter the situation. Unique respected how frank he was in the beginning...

Five years ago...

Unique was at the Geissler's grocery market with her mother. They were picking up a few things for the house and Unique was beyond ready to leave the store before they even got there. She was 17 years old and had one of the baddest bodies in the hood. Because of this, her mother kept her close. She didn't stop her from hanging out or having friends, but she was always somewhere watching so Unique didn't turn out like most of the hood's youth.

"Go get me some onions from produce Unique" her mother, Mahalia told her.

"How many?" Unique asked

"Like two or three good sized ones".

Unique walked over to produce with her mind on her crush, Brandon. She had just seen him outside playing ball and was going to go over and watch until her mother pulled up on her telling her they needed to leave. This was an everyday thing and Unique hated not having freedom to stay outside by herself while her mom went to the market.

Unique grabbed a produce bag and went over to the onions. She was checking them like her mother had taught her and when she found three nice sized ones and put them in the bag, she turned to go back to her mom. She bumped right into the person behind her knocking everything out of their arms.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry-" Unique began to say to the older lady, but was cut off from someone yelling behind her.

"Yo you need to watch where the fuck you going! You almost knocked my mother over." This handsome man glared down at Unique saying. She was stuck in her spot, and couldn't muster up something to say back.

"Semaj, have you lost all the sense God gave you?" The lady said before Unique could even respond.

"That is not how I raised you to speak to a lady, now apologize to her right now! Clearly she didn't see me standing there," she said with her hand on her wide hip.

The fine young man turned to a mute Unique and muttered "Sorry", under his breath without even looking at her.

SMACK!

The elderly lady smacked the shit out of the back of his neck.

"Boy, don't you play with me!" She said through gritted teeth. Unique wanted to burst out laughing but she already felt awkward in the middle of them and she definitely didn't want to make matters worse. Just as Semaj was about to open his mouth, Mahalia came around the corner.

"Unique, what the hell is taking you so long? You over here growing the damn onions?" She started.

"Hello, my name is Marianne. My son here was just apologizing to your beautiful daughter for being absolutely rude to her." The lady reached her hand out towards Mahalia who shook it with a sweet smile.

"Yea mama, I was just coming." Unique said.

"Oh yea?" Mahalia said turning to Semaj.

"Yes ma'am, I was just about to say I apologize for how I spoke to you." Semaj said finally looking at Unique. "That was uncalled for and even though you should have been watching where you were going, I could've handled it a lot better." He said. Unique was floored! How could he apologize and then throw shade at the same time. This nigga had her all the way fucked up.

"So you were being rude to my baby? Baby boy let me tell you something, when you see a woman. Not none of these hood rats and such, I'm talking about a real good woman, you treat her like a prize. A good woman in this world is all you need to survive baby. If you have that, everything else is already taken care of." She schooled the young boy before turning back to his mother.

"Thank you for being a decent mother and making him apologize, I'm Mahalia" She said to Marianne.

"Like Mahalia Jackson?" Marianne said. Unique looked up at Semaj to see that he was still looking at her.

She quickly turned her stare towards the entrance of the store. When she looked back over at Semaj, he was still looking at her and now he was smiling. She couldn't help but to smile back even though he was an asshole. Marianne and Mahalia became like two peas in a pod after that day, which naturally meant Semaj and Unique would spend a lot of time together.

They began dating three months later after Semaj got enough courage to ask Mahalia if he could take Unique out on a date- alone. She agreed and let Semaj drive her 1999 Honda to the movies that weekend. About a year later, Marianne had a stroke and passed away from complications with her diabetes.

Semaj was a mess for months, but with help from Unique and Mahalia, he came out of depression and began living again. Mahalia allowed him to move in last year after Unique got a promotion at the daycare and Semaj got a good job unloading trucks.

They begged Mahalia and promised to help out with bills if she let him come stay. Semaj lost that job after only three months from missing too many days, but he immediately got out on the block to replace what he was making. He knew that Mahalia didn't play when it came to a man providing so he got out there and did what he had to do.

Unique was very unhappy with what he was doing, but he promised he would only do it until he found another job. The thing was, he never actually looked for another one. He was content with the drug money and after seeing what he was bringing in, so was Unique. She hated his hours and the fact that she didn't get to see him, but she was able to save her own checks other than shopping and she enjoyed that. But that was four years ago.

Unique snapped back into reality. She missed that man she fell in love with so many years ago. He was such a stubborn dude but had quickly became the man she knew he could be. He was attentive to her feelings, he surprised her with little things like gifts, flowers and random day or weekend trips. These past five years had been some of the best years of Unique's young life. Never would she think she'd be here thinking about Semaj's infidelity and damn sure not his child that wasn't from her.

The end of the work day approached rather fast, so Unique got her things together and prepared to leave. When she stepped out of the door, Semaj came from the side of the building, where there was a bench, flowers still in hand and began following her to her car. When she saw him she sighed deeply and loudly, letting him know he was getting on her nerves.

"I know you don't want shit to do with me Neek, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I know a sorry isn't gonna fix shit right now, but I at least owed you that." He began as he swiped his free hand over his face.

"This is all so fucked up and I can't even imagine how you feeling right now, but just know that I never meant for things to get this out of hand and I damn sure never meant to hurt you. I know you probably won't ever forgive me, but I couldn't allow another day to pass without you hearing those words." Semaj let out all in one breath. He was still following her like a puppy.

The words he was saying was tugging at Unique's heart, but she was much smarter than that. As much as she loved him, she loved herself more.

"Yes Semaj, actually I do forgive you." Unique said turning her face towards him as she continued to her vehicle.

"I forgive you because I don't want you to have any power over me." She continued. She pushed the button to unlock her car and put her purse in the back seat.

"I've lived life thinking you were the man for me, that we would be together forever. And honestly I'm not even mad.. I'm grateful to you." She said closing her back door. She turned to Semaj and put her hands together as if she were praying.

"If it weren't for you being a cheating lying ass dog, I may still be under your spell. And if I'm stuck under your dog ass, then I can't see all the good ass men who ask me out on a daily basis, you know.. the ones who probably actually deserve a time of day. But now baby, I will see them clearly." Unique smiled. She took the vase of flowers out of his hands, touched his chin and said,

"I hope she was worth it, and I guess I never got the chance to say congratulations on the handsome new addition. Thanks for the flowers, I actually will take them, they're gorgeous." She put her hands between the flowers, grabbed the handwritten card and dropped it at Semaj's feet.

Unique gave him a wide million dollar smile and got in her car feeling like the shit. She was fuming on the inside but her mother had taught her early that sweetness is key and she could see all in his face that he felt like the dog shit that he was.

Semaj watched hopelessly as she got in her car and pulled off. He actually wanted to hear her cuss him out, yell, scream, any of that. The way she was going about it let him know she was truly done with him. After Unique sent the picture of his clothes on fire, he thought he may still have a chance to win her back. Now looking at her drive off, he wasn't so sure. His mother had always told him 'a woman with rage is a woman in love, but baby, when you do wrong and she's calm, not crying and carrying on.. that's when you know you've lost that woman.'


End file.
